This is a blog about my journey with bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed spring of 2011 and was admitted into a mental health hospital a month before my wedding. I struggled greatly for the next year and a half going on and off meds, experimenting with different forms of therapy and was readmitted to the hospital at the end of 2012. Since then I have been learning how to re-live my life. Seeing a wise, supportive, kind therapist once a week and emerging myself into Dialectical Behavioural Therapy are 2 of many ways that are helping me recover. I have found deep comfort and much strength in mindfulness practices, taught to me from DBT.

This blog is my way of allowing you to see into the life of someone who suffers from bipolar, depression and extreme anxiety. I want to own my story, and help defeat the stigma. I hope you find some comfort in knowing you are not alone, or learn more about mental illness through the writings of my blog.

Monday, 26 November 2012

Day 4


Wow. Today has been a very busy day!
I got to meet with my psychiatrist for the first time since being admitted into hospital, and it was sooooo good! We talked for an hour and a half. I didn't feel like I was being rushed to talk or ask questions, and I felt like she was genuinely listening and caring towards what I was going through.
She said it was quite common for someone to come into hospital and feel kinda relieved, almost like a 'honeymoon' period because really I have no concerns or triggers when in a safe place like this (even if it is really uncomfortable and awkward...)
I felt very heard, and that made me glad.
I am starting on a new pill this evening called Lithium, and she upped my dosage of sleeping pills so hopefully I sleep soundly. I am soooo tired from not sleeping, but whenever I try and go to bed I get so "excited" and have racing thoughts and suddenly want to make art and write letters and read books. It's so frustrating.
Rose and the kids came to visit this afternoon and that was really helpful (she brought me an americano from jonny's, thank the Lord!), and it was just a really good distraction to play "store" with Neveah and talk to my sister (love you!)
Then Ryan and Erin and Kendall came to visit in the evening and that was also really good. Having visitors helps me so much! They all just listened attentively while I shared about my day, and I felt very cared for and loved. And of course, like anytime with Erin and Kendall, we shared some good laughs, and that helped me feel "normal". There have been some pretty funny things that have happened since being here, but everytime something happens it's "inappropriate" for me to laugh, so I have to keep it inside and try not to giggle, which I'm not very good at! But I'll wait to share all those stories with you in person when you come visit :)

Other than that I don't have a lot to say.
Thank you for your prayers and support, I can feel them all, I really can.
The support and love is overwhelming and really remarkable. 
I appreciate every word, every thought, every americano, every prayer.

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