I feel guilty for asking for support in my previous post.
I feel guilty for being a burden on my friends and family.
I feel guilty for having bipolar and putting my husband through such shit.
I feel guilty for feeling guilty! AH it's such a vacuum!
I haven't been taking much action to counteract this guilt, because I am tired. I am so so tired. Not just physically but emotionally. This driving back and forth from Eden every day thing is tiring. I'm tired of all the emotional/mental work that I've done these past 2 weeks. I just need a good rest, to relax.
On Saturday morning, when I arrived home for the first time, I received an e mail from my dear lovely friend Bev. At the end of the email she wrote "Be gentle with yourselves and your family today, no matter what happens... it is a process". Those words have been a blanket of peace over Ryan and I. I think it will be a mantra for us to live by for the next while.... be gentle. it is a process.
p.s. if you are feeling like this blog would be beneficial for you to share with someone else, please do. I have lifted up the privacy settings, so anyone can access it now.